Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader?

OH man. Neil Gaiman + Batman. Arty comics lovers eat your heart out, this is going to be good. Unless by good, you mean terrible. Reading this 'piece' is a lot like coming home from a particularly gruesome day at the office, only to find out your one-and-only is having a Notebook viewing party in your living room with 6 other women...and also that same day you saw someone throw their McDonald's trash at a guy in the bike lane.. and also you have three separate letters from the IRS in your mailbox.

Neil Gaiman needs to get over himself and quit stewing in his own little world. Batman is Batman because he gets shit done. Neil Gaiman is Neil Gaiman because people like weird, noirish takes on circuses and hoboes. The two do not gel. It's a Batman comic, or even an Alfred comic or whatever, but for the love of god, enough already with "There's a separate world just beyond our reach, if only we'd notice it." For Christ's sake, just give Dead Batman a mystery.

Problem One: The whole damn thing. Bad, bad, bad.

Buy/No Buy: Avoid it like it's the plague. It's not worth $3.99.